What Type of Camp Coffee Drinker Are You?

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Today we’re celebrating the art of caffeinating outdoors. Find your alter ego in our coffee-lover’s almanac.

The Cowboy

Coffee

You like it strong and a little gritty, just like Grandpa used to make. “That’ll put hair on your chest,” the old man would growl, embarrassing, for a girl, while you’d choke the black stuff down. A whiff of strong instant coffee and smoldering campfire still brings back the good old days, when you learned to start a fire with your bare teeth and clean fish with a pocket knife. Or was it the other way around?

The Traditionalist

A patient percolator, yes, that’s you. You’re a provider of the perfect cup of coffee, at sunrise, overlooking a mountain vista. How could you have known that the spot you’d chosen was beside a hill of fire ants? Was it your fault? The silent treatment all the way home did not seem a fair response to an otherwise romantic camping trip.

The Minimalist

You’re all about Light-and-Fast Caffeinating. Lace up the boots, pocket a few Starbucks Vias, and hit the trail. The wild is no place for caffeine withdrawal. You’ve come to love that little flick, flick sound of fingernail against packet. One time, you skipped the JetBoil altogether and just brewed the coffee in your mouth. That’s how a true survivor rolls.

The Purist

The beans: shade-grown in the Guatemalan highlands. Fair Trade, organic, imported by canoe. Grind: twenty times clockwise, to the tune of “So Long Marianne.” Brew: stainless steel, filtered water, foraged wood. Press. Pour. Sip while squinting thoughtfully at horizon in moccasins and tossing a stick for your dog, Leonard Cohen, into the sea.

The Producer

coffee

You run a very tight craft. And you’re as serious about coffee as a part-time barista at an indie espresso stand next to an indie movie theater on the brink of closing. The director needs three packs of stevia stirred by organic bamboo? No problem. The lead takes a cinnamon stick and a thimble of cream? Done and done. Nobody’s ever gone without their weird fix on your watch, not even when you had to hike to location in the Chilean Andes on snowshoes with nothing but a fleet of huskies and a Bic lighter. Because you know when people need coffee, things are about to get real.

Shop for coffee and tea products at REI.com.

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